Women love sex! Yes, we do. So whoever thinks that men have a higher sex drive than women, can seriously go take a hike. According to research, a woman’s sexual motives are primarily driven by love and commitment. But, new findings have revealed that they do it with the same intention as men which is pure pleasure. All said and done, the eternal question is how important is sex for women. While most would agree that it is a great stress buster, some believe that it’s more than just a physical act.
“According to me, sex is important as it gives my relationship a different meaning. It makes me feel close to my partner physically, and of course emotionally. I also feel that sex is the best form of intimacy for a couple. But then there are times when your body just needs it!” guffaws Apeksha Mitra, a freelance writer.
But, what is the real reason behind women having sex? American authors Cindy Meston and David Buss in the book Why Women Have Sex, try to solve the same puzzle. Interestingly, the clinical psychologist and evolutionary psychologist have found out that it is not just love, pleasure or to reproduce that women indulge in sex. From fighting stress and boredom to keeping their lovers and even curing a migraine – the fairer sex indeed knows how to make themselves feel good.
Rita D’Souza, a journalist married over two years now, says, “For women, sex works in two ways at the end of a long day at work – it can bust stress as well as be the cause of it. So while it’s a very important part of a healthy marriage, timing is the key. Sex makes a woman feel desirable to her partner, especially if it’s not the quickie kind. It helps a couple bond at a level nothing else can. Plus, it’s a great stress buster!” She also says that many people assume that men have a higher sex drive than women, but that is only true for boys in their teens. “Women reach their sexual prime in their 30s. That’s probably when women enjoy sex the most,” she adds.
Meston and Buss apparently interviewed 1,006 women from across the world and found 237 reasons as to why they have sex.
Some of the most interesting reasons were:
One said she did it for a spiritual experience, as she thought it to be “the closest thing to God”.
“Cure for stress, headache and clear complexion”.
Another cited the reason “I have sex to relieve the boredom because it’s easier than fighting. Plus it gives me something to do.”
Responses also included “he bought me a nice dinner” or “he gave me gifts early on” and “he showed me he had an extravagant lifestyle”.
The majority admitted that sex helped them find peace or to bargain for their partners to carry out household chores.
However, in India, sex is perceived differently considering the fact that a majority of our population lives in the villages. According to renowned sex counsellor, Dr Mahinder Watsa, “In rural India, sex is mainly considered as an act of procreation. But, in big cities the perception of sex has changed over the years. Almost 15 to 20 years ago, women had sexual intercourse with the idea of starting a family. But today, as young as 23 to 25-year-olds are opening up and treating sex as a tool of pleasure.” Dr Watsa opines that premarital sex is on the rise in urban India with almost 30 per cent of women choosing to go the ‘sex before marriage’ way. “Nowadays even married women don’t shy away from speaking about their sexually inactive husbands!”
All said and done, for married women, sex becomes more like a tool to connect with their partners. “While it’s not the be all and end all of a marriage, sex is important to reinstate the love. As for me, it’s more than just a physical act. As contrived as it might sound, I cannot imagine sexless love or loveless sex,” says Priya Sharma, a media professional. For her, apart from the ‘normal’ biological need, it makes her feel good about being wanted by her man. “It helps me feel satisfied, happy, and confident, in that order,” she quips.
If you are still wondering why women want sex, then here are some reasons to consider.
Sex makes a woman feel closer to her man.
Sex is a great stress buster.
Sex allows you to explore your sexuality.
Lastly, sex makes a woman feel loved. Source: iDive
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